This is not your destination.

Taking a breath and a different route home.

I can’t tell you how many people I have been in contact with recently who are feeling that strange, mucky, uncertain, a little-bit-dissatisfied-but also-fine-with-their-routine-really, experience but they’re not sure what to do differently. Students, friends, clients, loved ones, even myself! It might not be everyone’s time for big growth right now, but for those of you who know you’re in a bit of sludgy mud and you’re not sure what to do, I offer this little video reminder about the life of water and how water is never seeking a destination, but always flowing.

Sometimes the life of water is fast and furious, sometimes it’s slow and steady, and sometimes it’s still, waiting, being. All of those parts of the life of water are necessary and natural.

We are not at our destination, we are on a journey.

I don’t know what lies ahead for myself, let alone what is next for any of you amazing humans who are reading this, but I do know some things.

I know you don’t have to keep yourself in a box, you can try something that doesn’t “seem” like your past self or present self, you can experiment, you can throw your hat into the ring of something that feels WAY TOO BIG for you and if you get the opportunity you can decide to grow into it or to back off a little and do it in small bits.

But what if I don’t get it? You ask.

Then it wasn’t your path, your door, your purpose at this time. That very same path, door, and purpose might be yours in a week, but if it doesn’t happen today, it wasn’t meant for today.

I have a great recent example of this in my own life. I’ve been trying, really, really trying to get a little time off of teaching to focus on my research and writing. I applied for some opportunities several times, and each time I was told no. For nearly two years I was told no, but I kept feeling a sense that some time away to write would be important for my growth and also very fulfilling and fun - something I would really look forward to!

I didn’t obsess over it, but every time there was an opportunity to apply again then I would apply, again. It was something I thought I really wanted, but I didn’t get attached to it because I also believe in paying attention to the “green lights” in life (thanks for that Matthew McConaughey). Yes, applying took time and work and effort, but it also got a little easier each time, and really, who cares if I spend several hours (or even a whole Saturday!) on something that might or might not happen? If I didn’t spend that time and put forth that effort, it definitely would not have happened, so putting in the effort toward something I thought I wanted at least made it possible that it could happen.

If you don’t even put in the work and try, you’ve already decided it’s not going to happen. That’s a very good way to be able to predict and control the future, but it’s not a great way - or very authentic way - to journey through life.

Long story short, I finally got approved for a little time off teaching so I can write. And guess what?

It’s perfect timing.

When I look back, I can see that if this had happened over a year ago, the timing would not have been ideal. But when my teaching break starts in January, it will line up with all sorts of other things happening in life that make it oh, so much better.

So who cares if you throw it out in the universe and it doesn’t happen right now? Just smile and keep going. It’s not the end, it’s not a red light, it’s just not a green light.

Some people receive this as rejection.

I’m afraid of rejection, they might say.

I see the world in a really different way, and I hope you can too. If it’s for me right now, it will happen. If it’s not for me right now, then I actually don’t want it to happen.

If I get a red light, I’m grateful that I didn’t walk down a path that wasn’t for me.

It might sting a little, and I might feel sad or let down or disappointed, and sometimes I might even feel angry or cry or yell it out. But after the release of all of that, I can take a breath and be grateful that my right-now-path is still out there for me.

The thing is, we don’t always know even the little things we could or should do when we don’t know what our next path is. When we’re in the uncertain-mucky-sludgy I-Think-I’m-Growing-Again-And-Oh-My-Goodness-It’s-Not-Super-Fun mode, sometimes it’s hard just to put one foot in front of the other.

So here are some little things, tiny things we might do (if there’s a big thing you want to throw your hat into, do that by all means! and do some of these too).

You can reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a very long time and see if they’re willing to help you, to make a connection, you can have a brand new idea and ask a couple people if they would be willing to help you get started, you can say yes to the signs you’re getting from the universe.

And if even those things sound too scary (Expanding is scary! Growing is scary! Change is scary!), then take a different route home today.

Meander.

Let your mind wander. Let it be still. Let it dream.

Ask yourself “what if…” and make it exciting!

You might find your answer in a stream, a mountain, a cloud, a butterfly or some other completely unexpected place of insight and intuition.

We are not at our destination, we are always flowing, sometimes fast and furious and sometimes slowly and comfortably. Sometimes if we’ve been at a pausing point (a learning phase, I would say, a phase of getting our feet underneath us, a steady-ing phase, a phase of routines), that steady, routine place can be scary to disrupt, but it’s exactly the routine that will allow you to experiment and grow and go and do.

Your tiny step doesn’t commit you to a lifetime of anything, it’s just taking another route home for a bit to see what happens.